The Super Mom Myth

Before I married and had kids, I just knew that I would be able to do it all. I knew that I would be the perfect wife and mother, while living my dream of being a… what was that dream again?

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Before I married and had kids, I just knew that I would be able to do it all. I knew that I would be the perfect wife and mother, while living my dream of being a… what was that dream again?

IMG_7242Well, anyway, my point is, I had it all planned out and in my mind, I could handle whatever came my way because growing up I saw women in my life who really were Super Women; women who held their families together and kept on going at full speed ahead.

My mother made being a Super Mom look easy. As a child, I never needed for anything, and most times didn’t have to beg for what I wanted. She gave me full reign to go after my interests and supported me at every event. And this was the same for my siblings. She was everywhere, all the time, cheering us on to be our best and letting us know how much she loved us.

When it came to holidays and birthdays, she shopped, cleaned, decorated, cooked, served and then did it all over again. Her hair was done and she was a fashion hat-wearing queen. Everybody relied on her to just get it done, and she did every single time in full regal flair.IMG_7221

My mom was the Super Mom of all Super Moms. So when I became a mom, I just knew I would be able to keep up with her example and do it even better than she.

I was dead wrong!

See, I now realize that while I watched my mother graciously care for us, like a duck floating on the water, her feet were rapidly moving to keep her afloat. What I didn’t see were her personal struggles, her heartaches, her worry, and her frustrations.IMG_4927

She kept her issues undercover so that what we experienced was the goodness she had to give. Through her daily life, she wrote the narrative of a woman who could love hard and push it to the limit and get up and do it again.

Being a Super Mom is an amazing and noble quest, a painstaking sacrifice and determination to live your best every day for your family and to put forth the effort with grace and femininity. It’s praiseworthy to reach for the ideals of being a smart, stylish and sexy mom.

Even so with everything that my mother was and still is to me, I’ve got to keep it real for myself and for my children so they don’t get swept up in the myth that moms are infallible, without fault, perfect.   

The outdated definition says Super Moms are Teflon, rock hard and can juggle the world in her hands without breaking a sweat. That everything is easy, nothing is ever wrong and she’s never tired. That she can work a full-time job, run a marathon, have a fulfilling relationship and still look like she’s 21. That any disappointment she has can easily be addressed with prayer and a cup of tea.

It just ain’t so.

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Yes, we are strong and can manage a lot at one time BUT I am a woman who gets an attitude, has bad days, feels overwhelmed, needs more sleep and could use some additional time off to pursue my dreams. I make mistakes, I don’t always manage money well or take good care of my hair.  

There you have it. My mother is a Super Mom but I know now that what makes her so super is that she is a real woman and so am I.

…so it goes